Swine

Two Muslim people came into our diner yesterday, ordered burgers with “no swine” on them.

Neck tattoo

An old man asked what my neck tattoo said. 

“Heist,” I told him.

“So you’re a thief!” He replied.

I didn’t say anything. I looked at him. He looked at me. He backed away slowly and left.

Poor leadership

My coworker blamed “poor leadership” for me accidentally seating his section after it had closed.

86 my sanity

I’m hustling muffins again. A lady asked me if I make commission on the muffins. “Yes,” I said.

Campers

Don't you have anything better to do with your day?