Poached medium

“You know where you can get poached medium eggs? AT HOME.” The cook jokes.

My tray jack:

Jack of all trays!

Hugging every co-worker goodbye

I told the new guy, “The rule here is, when you leave, you have to hug every one of your co-workers goodbye.” 

When I left, he yelled, “Where’s my hug!?”

Tina later told me, “The new guy said you wanted to hug him.”

Mimosa with OJ on the side

A girl my age orders a "mimosa with the orange juice on the side." Not knowing what the fuck that meant, I bring her an orange juice and a mimosa.

"No," She says, "I want you to separate them." My word, customers are abusive. I had to separate them. 😭

Non-verbal

I should preface what I'm about to say with that I am a single, childfree woman who will remain childfree for the entirety of my life. 

I consider every child I serve, unless they exuberantly tell me if they want apple or orange juice, to be non-verbal.

I don't think ordering at a restaurant is a great time to teach your kid to talk. It's a simple choice: apple juice or orange. I hate it when I'm fetching my beverage order and the parent asks the kid what they want to drink and the kid says nothing.

I have to stand there, encouraging the kid to answer my question, as if I'm a freakin' teacher or something.

Look, lady, you wanna teach your kids to talk? Do it on your own time. Thank you!

Rude

“Write that down,” A customer told me upon taking his order.

I wanted to have a mental breakdown.

“I am writing that down, sir!” I said instead of having aforementioned breakdown. 

Uncut toast 🍞

To mod the toast order is insane. I even think dry toast is insane. I even think asking for peanut butter is too much. The toast comes with butter. The buttered toast is delicious. EAT THE TOAST!

5

My boss said an employee of hers told her that their grandfather had died five separate times.

“I know you ain’t saying that,” The kitchen strikes again.

Least favourite order

Easily: “Well-done toast.” Like fuck, just eat the toast. It’s cooked bread. Why are you wasting everyone’s time?

Onion rings

Bitch orders onion rings “well-done”. I did not mod it for 2 reasons: to not piss off my cooks and because that is a stupid order. Onion ring came out well-done in the end, ha. Dumb bitch.