Never trust an old lady

I dressed up as a cop for Halloween this year. I had a water gun in a pistol holder and this old lady yelled at me, “come here,” and when I came towards her she insisted I get closer. “I have something to tell you,” she said. 

I got even closer. She grabbed my gun, turned it on me, and said, “never trust an old lady!”

Kids

“Kids these days,” the cook said despairingly. So I looked at my coworker, I rolled my eyes and said, “adults these days.” 

Most annoying order of the day award

No powdered sugar, sub this, sub that, hot water and lemon. Delayed pancakes. Well done pancakes. Double-toasted, dry toast. 

Civilians don’t know I have to manually type every modification in. 

Halloween 🎃👻🦇

4 years ago I was working for a boss whom I did not like and who did not like me. On Halloween, I said to him, “I see you dressed up as an evil boss today.” He did not like that one. He sent me home early.