🍳

I asked this customer how he wanted his eggs.

“Side by side,” he said, laughing.

His wife glared at him. “You don’t have to laugh,” she said to me.

New hire

We got a new kid. His one job was to clean tables. He clearly had never worked anywhere else, he was like 16. He took the tip belonging to the server off of every table he cleaned. He must of thought, “This is a pretty lucrative spot, they left me $15 for cleaning this table!”

My boss was quick to fire him.

Annoying

“Well-done toast but not burnt.”

I ended up bringing her 3 sets of toasts. The first was too burnt. The second was too burnt. The third was regular toast.

Look, lady, we don’t have a setting on our toaster for that! Sorry!

Power

The power went out at work. The whole restaurant shut down: the computers, the lights, the kitchen. There was a collective gasp from the dining room.

We all stood there in the dark.

Then my manager yelled, “You don’t need power to clean!”

8 hour meeting

A customer asked my boss if they could rent out a section of our restaurant for 8 hours.

This sounds like camping.

She said, “No!”

Overheard at work:

“How many more years for my salad?” A server asked the kitchen.

5 cops in a booth

Today 5 cops tried to shove into a booth. One of them grabbed a chair from my section to set up at the end of their booth.

“Ah ah ah,” I said, “this is a hallway in which servers are carrying large trays of food. We cannot put this chair here,” I explained. “If you go back to the lobby, the hostess will re-seat you.”

They said they would squish into the booth then did so.

Ha! My chair. Finally, I'm bossing the cops around.