Freshly squeezed

You'd be surprised how many times I hear, "Is your orange juice freshly squeezed?"

Next time, I'm going to say: "Yes. Jason squeezes it in the morning."

Adventures in upselling gravy

“Would you like to add a gravy on the side for your fry?” I typically add at the end of any French fry sale.

“How much for the gravy?” An old man asked me.

“$1.99, sir,” I said.

“I can’t afford that!” He replied, laughing loudly.

“Sir, nothing about that is funny,” I thought.

Creamers

Little kids are wild! Just at their table, drinking the milkers and creamers out of the caddy, like the most uncouth little bastards.

“Bland” omelette

A customer called his omelette “bland”.

Last time I checked, eggs had no taste.

There’s the door!