You thank with your money not your words.

New job

I asked a customer how their day was. They said, “Couldn’t be any worse,” so I stopped asking customers how their day was.

We got an iced cappuccino machine. A customer called it a “bootleg ice cap”. My boss didn’t like that one.

I said “Wallahi” to my boss today and he said, “Don’t ‘wallahi’ me!”

I said “What’s up dog?” To a customer and I got in trouble.

Pro tip: the bag I’m putting your muffin into will double as something you can huff into later at your desk.

When two customers approach my till arguing over who will pay the tab, I hold up the debit machine and say: “Fight to the death!”