Disarmed

I dressed up as a cop for Halloween this year. I had a water gun in a pistol holder and this old lady yelled at me, “Come here,” And when I came towards her she insisted I get closer. “I have something to tell you,” She said. 

I got even closer. She grabbed my gun, turned it on me, and said, “Never trust an old lady!”

Kids

“Kids these days,” The cook said despairingly. So I looked at my coworker, I rolled my eyes and said, “Adults these days.” 

Most annoying order of the day award

No powdered sugar, sub this, sub that, hot water and lemon. Delayed pancakes. Well-done pancakes. Double-toasted, dry toast. 

Civilians don’t know I have to manually type every modification in. 

Halloween 🎃👻🦇

4 years ago I was working for a boss whom I did not like and who did not like me. On Halloween, I said to him, “I see you dressed up as an evil boss today.” He did not like that one. He sent me home early.